Monday, 11 October 2010


I dropped the pooper scooper in the poop bin.  This is never good. 

Rocky and I were out for a walk when he felt the urge to off-load, fair enough.  He evacuated his bowels on the pavement and looked thoroughly pleased with himself.  I told him what a good boy he was all the while wondering what on earth he had been eating to make him go that much.

Being the responsible dog owner I am, I readied my trusty pooper sccoper and scooped the mess mountain into a bag. (incidently you can get free poop bags from the council - no excuses for little presents in the street.) A red bin was nearby, this was going to be a successful operation. But then I got cocky. Intead of removing the bag from the claw like grip of the pooper scooper first and then dropping it into the bin, I released the grip on the bag over the bin and at the same time released my grip on the pooper scooper.

I stood motionless for a second, wondering what had just happened. I peered into the bin, my pooper scooper peered back, laughing.  He was in poop heaven, I was scoop hell.

If you've ever had the dubious pleasure of using a dog mess bin you'll know it's fitted with a device which means you can't get out what you put in, believe me, this device works. I know because I stood at the side of the road for what felt like hours with my arm half in the bin like some sort of robo-vet. It was not a good look.

People were staring, staring and laughing.  I think I saw one old lady in a house across the street with a video camera and an envelope marked, 'You've Been Framed'.  I thought, what would Jack Baur do in this situation?  Then I thought Jack Baur would have more important things to be doing so I left.

The rest of the walk was spent praying that Rocky wouldn't need to release any more prisoners until the santuary of his own garden. He didn't.

As a pet owner there are times when you feel totally at the mercy of the animal in question.  It is teaching me a lot about the relationship between a dog and it's master. We love Rocky and we want him to be healthy and happy but there are some times when he just doesn't play ball. I, unfortunately am like that with my master.  The worst thing is that unlike Rocky, my master is perfect and I still mess up and, unlike Rocky, I should know better.


  1. Jack would have blown up the bin with electrical lead from a lamp, a pair of scissors, and the force of his mind. Or just tortured it into submission. Go Rocky!!! :)

  2. Jack would have had the schematics of the 'mess bin' sent to his PDA by his not-so glamorous assistant Chloe. Then he'd have taken position in a near-by bush and waited until the mess-bin emptiers came in their truck (they'd be there within the hour, of course). Jack, along with his scoop-team would then spring into operation and take the offending scooper into custody where it would remain until it received an obligatory presidential pardon (in writing) and awarded a medal for 'courage in the line of doodies'

  3. Amy Garner says that u are really silly for dropping it in in the first place but i did enjoy the way u described it :D

  4. Haha whoever left the anonymous quote is a gemius thats exactly how i imagine big Jack would've dealt with it! :D Good post Phil very funny and even managed to be relevant ;)